Fishgun Travails

The adjuntant kneeled before his superior, and proceeded to wail hideously. "We are undone!" he moaned. "The fish-guns pound relentlessly and destructively, the abalone-cavalry carve a path through our ranks like off-white scythes - of death! We are undone!"

"Have courage, young Aftlieutenant," the superior said consolingly, his chin jutting firmly outwards. "This battle is not over yet. Behold: my secret weapon!"

There was a moment's pause.

"Oh, right," the superior remembered. "I don't actually have a secret weapon." He shrugged. "Ah, well. Run away!"

They scampered. Just like little mice. So adorable!

Unfortunately, this didn't work very well either.

"So we meet again, cowardly Kupo-general," the enemy commander said with a booming laugh. "But this will be the final time!"

"No!" the adjunant cried out. "You can't!"

The enemy commander bit off the Kupo-general's head.

He chewed.

He swallowed.

"Mm," he said with relish. "That was delicious!"

And he and his fish-army lived happily ever after.