The Great Expedition, Pt. 3 of 3.

(Continued From.)

Vishnu, Nathan, and Jordan decided to make the climb back up the steep, difficult trail... in the dark (for night had fallen by this time). The rest of us went up the road. (Asphalt-paved, roughly wide enough for one car; the only other traffic we saw was a lone jogger, all in black except for his white sneakers.) The last we saw of Jordan was his silhouette, reappeared at the cliff base (he had begun the climb, then apparently doubled back?), shouting something we could not hear from some distance along the road. Eventually, he went up the trail once more. Kailyn remained in custody of his pants. (Vishnu was paying him $5 to make the climb in nothing more than his boxers - except that he was wearing his sweatshirt - and it may have been $4. There was some element of uncertainty present.) We climbed.

A certain element of discussion occured on the climb up. The difference between Orion's Belt and the Big Dipper caused brief concern; Roheet expressed envy, once more, of the enormous mansion above and to our left. Schemes for entry were plotted. Rivalry between "SoCal" and "NorCal" briefly flared; the merits of deserts were discussed. (Slim.) The path curved; we were alarmed when it seemed to be curving directly up to the mansion, but it thankfully turned away; not too long after that, we arrived at a street. And had no idea where we were.

Shoes were put on; calls were placed. Eddie and Rachel, left behind at the top of the cliff (had you forgotten about them?) (with Nathan and Jordan's bikes, along with other miscellaneous posessions - Abhinay had long since vanished, for personal reasons not to be further discussed here), had seen nothing of Jordan's party. We walked in what we believed to the general direction of the Cliffs; a gate was spotted, which half our party swore up and down was certainly one they had passed before, the LDS church... only to rescind this upon drawing sufficiently near. Thankfully, not too far past this was actually the LDS compound; we elected to rest there.

The Light of Deceit; shone above the Gate of Deceit. Such a dreadful thing!

Talking. More calls placed; cars pass, including one in and one out of the LDS compound. Jordan's party, reportedly, finally arrives. We wait. Wait. They're spotted coming; an ambush is plotted. It is remarkably ineffective. (I shout "Boo", which is what they describe as 'weaksauce', in the trade. Blame it on improvisation.) iPhone jailbraking discussed, as well as the merits of VOIP. Eddie mocks us for not jaywalking across a four-lane street. (It's a very wide four-lane street, and we're unenthusiastic about the notion.) We enter campus once again; Jordan attempts to cause Vishnu to flinch, and fails. Games involving vicious attacks to the male genitals are discussed. (This comes from the girls, mind you.)


We arrive at the dining hall - never seen it from that angle before - wash our hands, look at a big map, climb up and go inside.

Ocean View Terrace, viewed from an unusual angle. Bathrooms and a large map are on the second floor, along with a skilled pianist (!); the dining hall itself is on the third floor.

I select a muffin (apple) and orange juice; Jordan, Nathan, and Roheet (?) get Gatorade. We sit down outside, lacking a table inside large enough for all of us; I eat most of the muffin; loud rap music playing is discussed. A friend is encountered; leather jacket, hair; the Fonz. (Mockery, mockery, mockery.)

They call him The Fonz. (On the right. Jordan is on the left.)

A kiwi is repeatedly mistaken for an avacado. Chinese food is poorly prepared; Gatorade improves it. The girls' pasta finally arrives. (We decide that they delayed it with black witchcraft.) Talk. At this stage, I am falling asleep.

And a note, an interjection from a future self: recall, here, that Jordan had been awake for 37+ hours, working on a Physics lab, at the start of this expedition. He had since biked to The Cliffs, climbed down, run around on the beach, climbed up again, biked back from The Cliffs... and, if anything, he was the most energetic of any of us.

Quite obviously, he is an android, cleverly disguised in a thin layer of human flesh. How foolish of me to have been fooled for so long! (Especially with the whole immunity-to-hypothermia thing.)

And now, back to the end of past-self's narration:

Then we walk back; the misfortunes of drunken friends are discussed; and I let myself back in, while the others attempt a more bizarre, obtuse means of entry. It may have been suited to the spirit of the night; but for me, the night is over.

(Did you like how all the plotlines from the dream were neatly wrapped up? So clever! Almost as though I was working... backwards in time.)

(THE END)