Sacs de Peix Fresc

THE KRONIKELS OFF DESMONDE

PROLOUGHE

omono, mono nomonomono, ono mono nomonomo mono om mono no om, o mon nono mononomonono omono.

CHAPTERRE 48:

Nowe, wee alle know off the Tymes when the Ratte-Kinge Nikkoulouse reined over the Lande of the Swampes and the Mud-Forestes, and Kessler was upon the Throune of the Bone-Skulles, but what of the oft halcyone Dayes before the Epoches of these Rullers, yea, before the Struggels of Men upon the Lande whence they were bourne, and souffered upon the Yock of hardnesse, and fought in great Wars, upon whiche they employed their Genetales, as Weapones, in the manner of Wormes, who are flatte, and who live in the See, yea, before the Birthe of the Heroe Desmonde, from whence came mane Leggends, and Storyes, and who syred many Childrens, and who took at least two-score-and-five Wifes, who weilded the Sweorde Durendal, and who vanckwished the Kinge of the Rattes, yea, that one, indeede, and nowe wee shall disckover the passings of the Tymes be-fore that Tyme, and off the adventures of his fore Fathers, in the manner of a man in a Brothelle, who took five pence for a Prostitutte, and who enjoyed him self vigourously.

Thus, it came to pass, that, in a Land which was not farr off of the modern Parts of Isse-Lounde, there was a Man, who was called Nikkoulouse to his Peeres, yea, though this was notte the very samme as the Nikkoulouse who was the Ratte-Kinge, in latter Years, though he ressembled him greatley, in the manner of his Goatee, and his Cheste-Hairs. Now this Man, who was Knight-Errant, and who was a Stone-Mason by Trade, and who was six-and-one-half Foot in Stature, and who weighted twelfe Stone, and who had a full Head of Haires, and who had a Genital Piece, which was long, and wyde, and sharpe, and fleicksible. Yea, indeede, he was also a Scolaire, at the Universite, upon Cambridge, and the River which crosses betwixt itte, and a menber of the Clergie, and a player of Foot-Balls, which was a Populaire Game at the Tyme, though it has fallen out of Favour in modern Tymes, due to its Necessitation of Homosexuelle Acts, during the play of the Game, however, wee shall not linger upon this, being Men of Chrisiten Faithe.

Thus, it came to pass, that, in the Course of Humain Events, the Man who was called Nikkoulousse by his Peeres, came unto the Lecture Halles of the Universite, to be instructed in the ways of the Philosophies, and the Arts of Modern Tymes, and the Litterature, and he did that so such then there. However, upon the Riviere, there was another Man, who was called Desmonde, by his Peeres, and who knew the Man who was called Nikkoulouse, in his Youthe, yea, however, this is not the samme Desmonde, who did slay the Ratte-Kinge, and who Urinated upon the Forest, and who Climbed the Mountein on Surrey-upon-the-Thames, and who collected the Excremente of Woodland creatures, such that he may inhale their Fumes, nay, it was a different Tyme, and a different Place, and wee shall not linger upon this, being Men of the Christien Faithe.

And thus, Desmonde, being also a Scolaire, upon the Universite, however he was situated across the Copse, at Oxforde, such that they were able to communicate by the Carrier Pidgeone, withe messages attached to the Legges of the Birdes, who flew across the Rivere, and who were sometimes shotte down by Hounters, and then consumed with a Sauce made of Fermented Wyne. And one day, in the Course of Humain Events, there came a message from the Man who was called Nikkoulouse, to the Man who was called Desmonde, and it said some thing Like this:

"

Senyor President, he de dir que d'una circumstància més meravelloses que m'ha ocorregut recentment, es tractava d'una trobada casual als passadissos del pati, on ens va prendre el nostre te, que era de vegades assaonats amb una salsa de vi fermentat, però apartar, senyor, ara he d'explicar la meva predicament. En un principi, quan tot estava fosc (per la nit que era), em vaig decidir a anar a una reunió d'una societat secreta a la Universitat, que m'havia promès no només l'oportunitat de multa discurs intel lectual, sinó també a molts que aquestes disposicions gratuïtes se'm permet al meu magatzem de subministrament d'aliments per al solitari hivern propers dies. Tanmateix, en arribar al meu destí, que es troba en una galeria de més meravelloses invencions i novetats estrany, jo estava una mica desconcertada en el disseny de la situació, i jo em va obligar a ocupar el seient al costat d'una jove, qui va ser també existeix sobre les empreses, i he fet una petita forma de discurs amb ella, ja que és la meva manera habitual i, a continuació, hi havia un pensament de sobte me, que jo proposició llavors el seu dret i, tanmateix, no en la forma que usted espera, si bé No estic segur que vostè fins i tot el que, essent un bon cristià. De fet, jo vaig fer tal cosa, i m'ha negat fermament, però, no abandonar l'esperança, vaig pensar que no airadamente sortir de la construcció van marxar a casa i utilitzar el gat-o-de nou cues a mi mateix. Els dies van passar lentament com un recompte dels meus contes als veïns, i de sobte el destí em com un cop d'un ou dur i ràpid-home. En tres dies que la vaig veure tres vegades, i cada vegada que una escalada del meu nivell de discurs i els meus òrgans. En el primer dia, vaig dir hola molt tímida, com jo temia per la meva vida sota la pressió de les erupcions solars. En el segon dia, la meva camisa oberta a rodanxes, per tal d'exposar els meus músculs del pit, i va ser degudament impressionat. Al tercer dia, finalment proposition ella, en la forma que caldria esperar, i va ser quelcom acceptable per a ella, però, encara no han rebut un dia concret per al grandiós esdeveniment, i em temo que no pot succeir , i que tot el meu treball ha estat en va. Si aquest és el cas, sens dubte vaig a inscriure en el monestir amb gran pressa!

Atentament,

Nikolous VIII, rei d'Alsace-sur-la-Seine

"

And the Desmonde saw this Note, and he took it upon his Hande, and tore it into Small Pieces, and threw them in to the Hearthe, and That was the End of That.