Nikolaus Chronicle XVIII MCMXVIII

Yea, Frigg's day, yea, the blood moon, yea, eighth year our lord reborn, yea, Nikolaus Chronicle.

The beginning:

Nikolaus did arisse earlie from banyan bed, and yea, hee took a winter's stride towaerds the gymnasium, and he did carry many pounds of cabbage upon his backe, and he did have holes in his shooes, and it was goode.

Of the Chymistry:

And it came to pass, that Mr. Nikolaus came into the warme roome and the grand lecture halle for the chymistry, and there were many peoples there of ill demeanour, and Mr. Nikoulas, fearing them, for his liver was sensitive that morninge, he did sit next to Mr. Professor Suresh, from the Indian subcontinent, and who was known for his brain, which was ten times the density of a normal man's, such that he had to place metals about his head from destroying the minds of passersby with his mindewaves, and it wasse goode.

Yea, a buffer solution was made, such that it resisted the wayes of acides, and basses, and it did not flinche in their presence, for it was blessed by the lord, and it would also resiste the forces of evile, and yea, the divel, and his articles, and his minions, and they did measure it, and performe obscene actes upon it, and it wasse goode.

Of the Economy:

And then it came to pass, that Mr. Nikolaus, being a gentle-man, and being in the company of many a youngge ladie, did come to the lecture halle of the governmente, and he did absorbe many goode vibrations, and he learned many theorems, such that he did not rememberre any of them, for it was un eventfulle, and his livere was manifesting many unusual symptomes, and it wasse goode.

Of the Englisshe:

Mr Nikolaus, fearing the presence of large ground-wormes that had nested in his usual seate, did come upon and encroach the seate of many youngge ladies, and they did proteste vocally and viciouslie, such that his liver was shattered into many pieces, however, he being a greate man, did regenerate it, and he did retain his seat, and the class did observe a cinematographie, for the professor had taken ill, and was invilid, and they did compare the fylme to a booke that was in recent memorie, and it wasse goode.