The Kronitlker of Desmond: the adventures of Mr. Nikolaus (part I)

One daye, whan the srpynge was fulle, and the blossomes of the trees came uppe and ensnared smalle animales in their mawes, and they did digestte them, and the rivers gush'd with the lyfes of ten-thousand fishes, and shrymps, and coddes, and hallibutte, and the air was warme, and supple, and stronge wyndes blew from the north-easte, and it was sunnie, and it rain'd oftene, whan this occured, then it was the tyme for manie peoples in the faire provincie of Desmondforde for come uppe, out of their grass-hutts, and do many jigs, and gabols, and pagan rituales, and they did so with muche enjoymente, for it was a magickal tyme, and it was goode.

And one fine daye in this seasone, a younge man, who was in the earnestness of gentle men not a young as one ought thought, yea, he was at least 30 winteres wither'd, and he wore a dignified bearde, and a fine hat from bavaria, and fine woolen trousers, and garters, and coulettes, and buckel'd shooes, and was in all wayes educatèd in the chymistry, and the physick, and the astronomie, and the philosophie, and he was a good oratore, and diligente in his scriptures, and a goode person, and kinde-heartèd, and it was goode.

And it came to pass, that this manne, Mr. Nikolaus, of Dunkirke, professoré, Lord Bingley, came upon one daye, in his goode stroll through his country manner, and he look'd forlorn, and solemn, and swollen, and stern, for he was beplaguèd, for he had recently encountered the peasantes, whom he envied most wickelie, for thought they were poore, and destitute, and fylthie, they had much goode love, and families, and sexual relations, and they copulated wildlie, and it was goode.

And then it came to pass, that Mr Nikolaus, in his madnesse, came and decided to love a womon, from the toune, and to go and have a wonderfulle castel of them, and to be a geat man.